Secrets
by Candi Lewis
Summary: What was Sam’s relationship with her father really like? Why did she and Mark really stop talking to him? Dark, AU. Strong M.
1. Chapter 1

**Secrets**

**What was Sam's relationship with her father really like? Why did she and Mark really stop talking to him? Dark, AU.**

Mark had gone to a friend's house for the night, and Sam's mom had died two months earlier. Sam was sitting stiffly on the couch next to Jacob, waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, about half an hour into the movie her reached for her, brushing blonde strands back from her face with calloused hands fingertips. Sam suppressed her protestations, like always. Jacob leant closer, pulling him toward her with his left arm, crushing her teenaged breasts against his chest. He shoved his mouth against hers, forcing her lips open with his tongue, pulling down on her jaw so that she'd allow him entry.

Tears pricked in her eyelids, "Dad," she pleaded, trying to pull away but failing against his superior strength and grip. "Please…"

One hand ventured up her skirt, brushing lightly along her thighs. She tried to jerk her leg away, but his hand held it firmly in place, preventing her from going anywhere. "Hush, Sam, remember our deal," he growled breathlessly against her lips.

Sam did remember. She'd been not more than eight years old when she'd first been left home alone with her father and he'd made a move. He'd bought her silence by promising to give her the one thing she wanted: entrance into NASA when she was old enough. It had been nearly a year before it happened again, and then 10 months, then 8. Every time, the length of time between the assaults got shorter and shorter. When she'd reached puberty, her father seemed put off and she'd breathed a sigh of relief, but now that her mother had, he was raping her every time the two were left alone together. It wasn't really the promise of NASA keeping her silent anymore, but her shame, her horror and disgust with herself, and her fear of what he would do to her.

Mark rarely ever stayed at home anymore, desperately trying to escape his father, who he blamed for their mother's death. When Sam tried to stay with her friends, Jacob refused, and so, Sam was left to this almost nightly treatment.

Her skirt was now bunched up around her waist, and his hand brushed lightly against the soft cotton of her panties. "Dad," she tried again.

His response was to press down on her with his palm, making her gasp with a pleasure that she couldn't help. "D-,"

"Sam," he growled, angry, possessive. "Shut the fuck up and let me get on with it."

Tears streaked her face as she silenced, realizing that there was no way she was getting out of it tonight, either. A finger reached underneath her panties and he firmly rubbed her clit, and she gave an involuntary gasp of bliss. This was the part that she hated the most: he would make her come, scream with pleasure and it was oh so wrong. She hated her body's physical reaction to his probing. The finger dropped lower, delving swiftly into her moist channel. With his free hand, he tore off her panties, giving him unrestricted access to her most private parts. His middle finger joined his index, and he thrust them inside her several times, keeping his thumb firmly on her clit and making her gasp again. As her passage became more and more wet, his pace slowed and his thumb gently circled her nub. She could feel herself close to the edge, and she shuddered with some horrible combination of joy and disgust. His fingers plundered for a few more seconds and she could no longer prevent her body from arching up against his. He grinned smugly at her response, once again quickening his pace until she began to spasm on his hand. Finally deciding she was ready, he pulled down his own pants.

His erection was large, dark and pulsing with arousal. He released her mouth from his with a slick pop, and grabbed strands of her long hair, forcing her head down. "Suck," he commanded.

Sam recoiled in horror. This was new. His fingers tightened in her hair, forcing her to keep her position, her face shoved into his crotch. "For God's sake Sam, I know you're not stupid. You know what I mean."

Crying, Sam tentatively licked the tip of his cock. She forced herself to pretend that it was Harry Darrin, her crush and lab partner, but the thought did little to comfort her. Her tongue swirled around his tip, and soon she found a rhythm, forcing all thoughts about what she was doing out of her head by reciting formulas. She could feel him starting to lose control, and tried to pull away, but his hands were still woven in her hair, still forcing her to go down on him. He came in her mouth and she choked on both cum and tears.

He disappeared for five minutes, returning with food. She ate silently, dry sobs heaving over her body. He rested a hand on her back, which would have been comforting if not for the fact that he'd just abused her once again, and if she hadn't been able to see his arousal once again growing in his lap.

She closed her eyes as he pulled her hips to crush against his, as he forced his thickening length into her body and thrust vigorously while rubbing her clit, forcing her to endure the sickening waves of pleasure. He only came after she did, collapsing on top of her, leaving his flaccid penis inside her. He didn't move, falling asleep like this. She was too weak to push him off, and sobbed herself to sleep with his oppressive weight still crushing her.

* * *

It was nearly midnight, and Sam had awoken. Sometime while they were sleeping, Jacob had rolled off her, and she coiled herself into a ball on the other end of the couch and sobbed. She didn't hear the keys rattling in the door, and only became aware that Mark had got home when he spotted them.

He was the picture of fury. "Sam?" he demanded. "What did he do to you?"

She only dried in response. Her brother pulled her to her feet, hugging her against him. "How long has this been going on?"

Sam shrugged. "Come on," Mark said gently. "Get some clothes, you're coming with me. We'll go to Matt's for tonight, file a report in the morning."

"No!" she wrenched herself free, shaking her head desperately. "No, no one can know!"

"Look what the bastard's done to you Sam!" Mark retorted in anger, unable to see where she was coming from.

"Please, Mark. I promise, I'll never come back here again, he'll never touch me again, just don't tell anyone!"

Mark was disconcerted by his sister's begging, and conceded. They took Sam a few changes of clothes and Sam's school things, packed them in his car and left.

* * *

The next morning, Sam went to the hairdressers and got her hair cut short, short enough that no one would ever be able to grip it. Mark got a job, rented an apartment and moved her in with him. Neither of them ever went back to their father's house.

AN: There's one more chapter to come, set during the Season 2 episode, Secrets. This is a new sort of story for me, so I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Secrets**

**What was Sam's relationship with her father really like? Why did she and Mark really stop talking to him? Dark, AU.**

"I see General Hammond's already doing the rounds," Sam said, spotting the man standing with someone whose back was turned to them.

"Oh yeah. He's a player. He knows how to work a room. Punch?" Jack offered, and Sam smiled.

"Yes Sir, thanks." Jack walked off to get the punch, and Hammond caught Sam's eye, waving her over.

"Dad!" she exclaimed, horrified. She hadn't spoken to him for fifteen years, what was he doing here?

"I invited Jake myself, Captain. I thought you might enjoy the surprise." Hammond explained with a smile.

Sam forced herself not to look revolted, after all, Hammond didn't know. Couldn't know. "Really, Sir. That's sweet."

"George and I served together back when the Air Force really was this country's first line of defence." Jacob explained.

Sam bit back the urge to vomit at the sound of his voice, the sight of him the memories. "It still is," she retorted stiffly, not willing to talk to him but not being able to stay silent.

""Of course it is. I was talking about when the Cold War was still, er... Anyway, when George told me you were up for the Air Medal for your work in... what the hell was that again? Um..."

It sickened her that he was acting like there was nothing wrong between them, like they still had casual conversations, like he'd done nothing wrong. "Analysis of deep space radar telemetry," she said stiffly.

"Right," Jacob was sceptical.

At that moment, Jack returned with the drinks. "Sam," he exclaimed, handing her hers. He studied her for a brief second, noticing her discomfort. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir," she replied promptly.

"You look a little…"

Hammond cut him off. "Colonel Jack O'Neill, Jacob Carter."

"Carter? As in...?"

"As in, my father Sir, yes."

"Get outta town. Sam's Dad? I've heard nothing about you, Sir."

"What's there to say about an old general waiting to retire?" Jacob shrugged pleasantly.

Sam clenched her jaw resolutely shut.

Jack grinned, completely unaware of the history between Sam and her father. "I retired myself one time. Couldn't stay away."

Jacob was incredulous. "From your analysis of deep space radar telemetry."

Jack paused, "Well, it's just so damn fascinating," he covered.

"I'm sure it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be receiving the Air Medal."

"We have our moments." Jack said mildly. " Um, will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain enough. I'm gonna grab some air. Outside. General, Captain, General, Waiter?" he left.

"I guess I'll go make the rounds," said Hammond, and Sam yelled desperately in her mind for something, someone to come and rescue her from being alone with him.

"Just between us, your cover stories could use a little polish." Jacob commented casually.

Sam suppressed the urge to either run as fast as she could in the other direction or pull out her firearm and shoot him. "I don't know what you're talking about, General Carter," she said instead.

"Look, I'll tolerate your being here, but I don't want to talk to you. Go find some old friends and chat, go hide in the bathroom, I don't care, but keep away from me, okay?" she didn't wait for an answer, and abruptly left.

"He's got great hands. He can really snap the jab. He was getting off all night, so he cut in with three good ones, then he feinted with his right, came in with a left hook and right cross and the guy was down! It was a great..." Hammond was animatedly telling a story to a bunch of officers.

Jack interrupted. "General, a moment please?"

"Excuse me," Hammond said, walking off with Jack.

"We've got a problem, Sir. We've sprung a leak. Apparently someone with knowledge of the program talked to a reporter."

"This reporter approached you?"

"Yes Sir," Jack affirmed.

Hammond nodded, worried. "And you said?"

"Denied everything. He didn't buy it."

Hammond nodded in approval of Jack's actions, worry still evident on his brow. "How much does he know?"

"Well, if he knows me - he knew how to find me here - a lot."

"Then you're right, we've got a problem."

"Yes, sir." Jack agreed. "Do you know where Carter is?"

"I saw her father following her into a room earlier. They're probably having it out," Hammond told him, even as they both walked toward the room in question. "Jake seems to think that she and her brother blame him for their mother's death, they hadn't spoken in fifteen years."

Jack raised an eyebrow, Teal'c style. "And you thought it would be a good idea to invite him?"

Hammond shrugged. "They're both adults. I figured they'd be able to work through it."

As they drew closer to the room, they could hear muffled yelling. "I said, don't touch me!" Sam's voice was almost hysterical.

Jack and Hammond exchanged a worried glance, quickening their pace, and almost about to fling open the door when they heard another voice. Jacob.

"Sam, please. I called in a few markers. I filled them in on your qualifications; you apply again, as an Air Force nominee, young lady, and I think you'll find NASA supportive."

Jack took his hand from the doorknob, and by unanimous decision, they decided to let the two finish their conversation.

"There's a waiting list a mile long." Sam informed her father, a note of visible panic still present in her voice which neither of the listening men could figure out.

"Not for you."

"You can't do that, General,"

"For God's sake, Sam, is it so hard to call me Dad?"

Sam's voice was dripping with sarcasm when she answered. "No, not at all. You were such a 'great' father."

"Sam," Jacob sighed. "You have to know I'm sorry. I wanted to make amends before I die."

"Which will be when, precisely?" Sam didn't seem to care much.

"I have cancer. Lymphoma. I've got maybe a couple of months."

Sam's response to this was not at all what Jack or Hammond expected. "Good riddance to bad rubbish. And when you're dead, I'll come spit on your grave."

Jacob's voice was tired. "Sam, please, I thought you'd be bigger than this. I thought you'd forgive me."

"Let me get this entirely straight." Sam said, her voice icy. "You're dying, and you've decided you don't want me on your conscience. So you come and offer me NASA, finally delivering on your promise from 21 years ago, but I don't want it. So you try and _guilt _me into forgiveness? Well, I've got new for you. Not. Going. To. Happen."

Jacob's tone changed, becoming condescending. "Oh, come on, it's not like you didn't like it."

Sam scoffed. "I don't have to listen to this, you make me sick. There is no way in this universe – or any other – that I enjoyed being raped. Not when I was eight, and certainly not when I was fourteen."

Jack's expression turned shocked and disgusted, and his hand returned to the doorknob, ready to go and rescue Carter. Hammond grabbed his arm, preventing him from going any further, and pulling him toward a different room. "Do you really think she would appreciate us knowing?" he asked him.

"Well, no," Jack reluctantly agreed, but mentally imagined crushing the man's throat with his bare hands for what he'd done to his 2IC. "I still want to kill him."

George nodded. "I was the one who invited him here," he said regretfully. "If I had known…"

They heard carter storming out of the room, and intercepted her. "We've got a problem," Jack informed her, carefully scrutinising her body language to make sure she would be fine.

"A leak," George confirmed. "Shall we just go in here for a moment to discuss it?"

Sam nodded, her face the expression of calm. If they had not overheard the conversation, they would never have even guessed there was anything wrong.

"Say he runs this story - how bad can it get?"

"Bad. The domestic repercussions alone - half the government would want to bury it, the other half would want a piece of it. After that the international fall-out when Russia and China find out we've been keeping it from them..."

**TWO MONTHS LATER: Jacob's Funeral**

Sam was standing stiffly at the graveside, her brother standing awkwardly at her side as they watched their father's body being lowered into the grave. Both of them knew that he didn't deserve the honour and praise that various colleagues were giving him. Both had both refused to give a eulogy, and instead the job was left to people who he'd served with.

After the ceremony had finished, they both stood there silently, unmoving.

"It's over." Sam said finally. "I thought… I thought I'd feel better. I thought I'd get some peace. But… I just don't feel anything."

Mark hung his head. "Sam, I'm so sorry," he began, but Sam silenced him.

"I know," she placed a hand on his arm.

Mark nodded in acceptance. He and Sam rarely spoke these days, even seeing Sam was a painful reminder to Mark that he'd failed as a brother to protect her. They hugged lightly and parted ways, Sam going to stand with SG-1, while Mark ushered his family away into a car.

"Are you okay, Sam?" Daniel asked. He and Teal'c were still unaware of what her father had done to her. Jack and Hammond had eventually come clean about what they'd overheard and she was slowly coming to terms with it.

She took a breath and nodded.

"C'mere," Jack said, and bundled her into his arms, where she felt safe and protected. Her father was gone, and she'd finally found her real family with SG-1.


End file.
